Sticks & Steaks

"don't threaten us with a good time"

Old mates scattered far do convene,
to hack up the fairways and greens,
they travel far for steaks and cigars,
whisky poured neat, a glorious feat,
what a splendid time it will be.

Quorum

The gatherings may happen anywhere, at any time, so long as three people attend, play at least two rounds of golf, eat steaks and smoke cigars at least one night.

Six per Side

We say "six per side" because 6 mulligans are allowed per 9 holes, steaks are cooked 6 minutes per side, and cigars must be at least 6" × 60 ring gauge.

Dots

The Official Golf Side Game of Sticks & Steaks

1 Dot
Skin
Win the hole outright — no ties.
Closest to the Pin
Nearest to the hole on a par 3 after all players have teed off.
Greenie
Land on the green from the tee shot on a par 3.
Barky
Make par on a hole after your ball has hit a tree.
Sandy
Make par after your ball has been in a bunker.
Poley
Drain a putt longer than the flagpole.
2 Dots
Chippy
Hole out from off the green — chip, pitch, or bump-and-run.
Birdie
Complete the hole in one under par.
Wet Dream
Save par after your ball has been in a water hazard. Skipping it off the water still counts.
Low Putts (per 9)
The player with the fewest puts on each 9 holes.
Low Gross Score (per 9)
Total strokes scored.
Low Net Score (per 9)
Handicap adjusted strokes scored.
3 Dots
Eagle
Complete the hole in two under par.
4 Dots
Ace
Hole in one. Buy a round.
Albatross
Complete the hole in three under par.

Mulligans

  • Each player is allowed 6 mulligans per side. Taking a mulligan costs 1 dot, and disqualifies you for score dots, but you remain eligible for stroke dots.
    Example: you can still win a 'Barky' or 'Sandy' but not a Skin, Eagle, etc.